Disclaimer: "I’d surrender everything/ To feel the chance to live again-" oh sorry, not mine

Note: #5 in Danny-sick stories, also the end

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CJ woke slowly as the sun came and hit her face. She opened her eyes and looked at the clock. She groaned, realizing she had to hurry if she wanted to make it to work on time. She threw out the idea of getting in early like she normally did, as it was already too late for that.

Then her eyes fell on the bed. She sighed and grabbed her phone. Taking it into the hallway, she dialed Toby's number.

"Toby?" she grimaced because she had been hoping he wouldn't be in his office. "I'm going to be late today. No, I'm not there yet, I'm still at home. No, I didn't call Leo yet, my first meeting was with you this morning. I missed half of my day off yesterday, so I'll be a little late today. Toby, don't start. I'm going to be late, deal with it." She listened for a moment more to Toby's complaints. "Okay, see you later." She smiled faintly as she hung up.

She went to splash her face with water and brush her teeth. She decided to wait to do her make-up and crept back into the bedroom. She realized Danny was awake. "Morning."

He smiled at her, still a bit sleepy. "Good morning."

"How are you feeling?"

"Fine," he realized, surprised. She felt his forehead and nodded. "I want to take a shower though."

"Okay," CJ agreed. "And then we'll have a real breakfast before work?"

"Sounds good." Danny stood up, amazed at how healthy he felt. He smiled, then grabbed his bag and made his way to the shower.

CJ dressed quickly while he took his shower, then decided to change the sheets when she realized she couldn't make breakfast since she hadn't asked Danny what he wanted. She wanted to do something useful while she waited, to calm the slight guilt she felt for not going to work on time.

She was almost done, just tossing the pillows back onto the bed when he came back in. "Feeling better?" she smiled at him.

He crossed the room and grabbed the pillows out of her hands, dropping them on the floor. She didn't have time to react as he crashed his mouth into hers. Time stopped as she tried to figure out what to do with her hands. She twined them around his neck to pull him closer.

Her brain was in sensory overload. His hands rested gently at her waist but his lips were anything but gentle on hers. He demanded and received entry to her mouth and their tongues dueled.

The feel of his beard on her skin amazed her. The word soft floated through her mind, only to be driven out when she remembered his lips.

He pushed her gently down onto the bed before she realized what was happening. Only when her hand fell from his neck to the bedspread did she realize she was horizontal. Only then did she feel the weight of him on her. She grasped his shirt and pushed him slightly away. She opened her eyes and they met his resigned expression. She kissed him again, gently this time, then moved up on the bed. She dragged him with her by his shirt until they were both completely laying down.

He touched her cheek. "Are you sure?"

"No," she told him honestly. "This is very wrong."

He sighed and moved so they were laying side to side, facing one another. "I can go."

"We need to talk. And while it's hard to think with you touching me..."

He guiltily pulled his hand away from her cheek, but she grabbed it and tangled their fingers.

"I didn't say you had to stop."

He smiled. "You're giving me mixed signals."

"I know," she sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just... if we do this... if we have sex... it changes everything."

"It's not just sex."

"I know," she told him sadly. "That's what worries me. If this was just about sex, it would be much easier to deal with."

He brushed the hair away from her eyes as an excuse to touch her face. "So, now what?"

"We can go to work and forget this happened."

The expression on Danny's face told her it was as unlikely an event as her forgetting. She smiled.

"We could... 'have sex'... once." Danny told her. "You know, get it out of our systems so we can give our work the attention it deserves."

She laughed, marveling at how wonderful it felt to be talking to him honestly. "That worked so well with the kissing, didn't it?"

His eyes flicked to her lips for a beat. She noticed and moved closer. He kissed her gently this time. She sighed and smiled before opening her eyes.

"We can keep things the way they are." CJ glanced down at their bodies, pressed together. "Or rather, how they were."

"I can't do that." Danny told her.

"Good." She added quickly, "Me either."

"One of us needs to change jobs." He hurried on to stall her protests. "Or leave town, put some distance between us."

"I can't leave," CJ whispered, tears threatening to fall. "The President..."

"I know," he told her sadly.

"But you love working the White House beat," she protested.

"I'll just have to cover it from a bit farther away." He played with her hair, staring at the strands falling through his fingers as he avoided her eyes.

"Danny-"

"I can't be here." He cut her off. "I can't be near you every day and know that I can't touch you. And I can't stay as a reporter based at the White House knowing how you feel about me. We both know it's wrong, CJ. One of these days, people are going to see me looking at you... and they'll know. We can't risk it."

She kissed him softly, then deepened it. Their arms tangled around each other until Danny pulled away.

"We can't do this."

"Danny," she whispered, tears falling. "I want you."

He wiped her tears gently. "If we make love now, I won't be able to leave you. It's hard enough knowing what your kisses are like. If I had to leave after... I know I wouldn't be able to."

"This isn't fair." CJ kissed him again.

"Life isn't fair." Danny pushed her gently to arms-length away. "If you can come up with a better plan, let me hear it."

She fell silent, staring wide-eyed at him. She couldn't believe what was happening, she willed herself to wake up from the nightmare she was in.

"I'm going to go now, before I can't leave you." Danny stood up. He whispered, "I'm sorry."

CJ sat up slowly. "Me too."

He left before he talked himself out of it, before he crawled back into bed with her and ruined both their jobs. He hoped she would still be around, that she would still love him and want to be with him after the administration. He thought of her and sighed, knowing how many guys would jump to take his place. He could only hope that she trusted in him enough to wait.

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