Rating: G, actually... I think. I did say one bad word, oops! nothing else fit, though, so sorry!

Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine, tra la la la la...

Summary: Musings of a crazy man.

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You know, we're all in love with her. Oh, I don't mean we're going to duel for her, or anything ridiculous like that. But each of us, in our own unique way, is in love with her.

Take Toby, since he's the easiest to categorize in this. When I met him, he was already in love with her. If not for his feelings for Andy, I think they would have a good chance of getting together after this crazy administration is over. Of everyone here, they fit the best. She always knows the right thing to say to him, even when the rest of us are still processing. Like when that crazy book came out, with all those horrible things said about Toby. None of us knew what to say after that had been quoted, the room went completely silent. But she knew exactly what to do, attack the "golfing" part.

And that's the other thing. She could have talked about the rest of the sentence; in fact she's the only one he would have let do that. But she didn't, she knew exactly what to say.

Now, I don't know if they've ever crossed the line to more-than-friends. Unfortunately, it's none of my business. And, unlike many other things, I can't figure out a way to make this one my business. The way he stares at her sometimes, and vice versa now that I think about it, makes the rest of us feel like we're intruding. Even in the middle of a crowded room, they can make it seem like they are only aware of each other.

Sam was scared of her, of course. To a certain extent, we all still are. Even Toby, as shocking as that idea was to me when I first met everyone.

Sam doesn't have the greatest track record with women. By that I mean he always chooses the wrong girl. Seriously, a call girl? Then the boss' daughter? He couldn't have chosen worse women to go after. Maybe it's for the best. At least he never went after her, she would have crushed him with no problem. Oh, he's gotten some digs in here and there, I'll admit. But he nearly swallowed his tongue when she ordered him onto her couch. I don't blame him, of course, we all would have done the same. At least she didn't try that when they first met, I don't think he would have survived. At least by then he had gotten used to her sense of humor, as much as one can be.

Now, as heart stopping as her innuendos are sometimes, the worst thing is to be on the receiving end of her wrath. Believe me, I know, I've been there many many times. But I have to admit I'm a bit in love with her too. I'm rational enough to realize nothing will ever come of it, of course. I don't have the best track record, I'll admit that. But I'll deal with it all at the end of the administration. With Amy and Mandy out of the picture, I have to admit I've been looking around in that little bit of free time I have.

And I have to say I've noticed my assistant more than I should be noticing her. But since I'm not talking about Donna here, I won't talk about how gorgeous and sweet she is. And not a word about all the crap she put up with because of me. She's an amazing assistant, like many of the assistants around here.

Now, don't let this get out, but I'm sure the men higher up in power have a slight crush on her too. Now, I'm not saying President Bartlet would leave his amazing wife or anything stupid like that. I did tell her once he thinks of her as a daughter, but I don't think that totally covers. Oh, most times I think he does. But other times, on the rare occasions when he forgets himself and is just a regular guy, I'm sure he's got a little crush on her. She's strong and outspoken, which he appreciates in a woman. Really, though, don't let this get out. Who knows what the media would do with speculation like this!

Leo is another. Another what, I'm not totally sure. He's divorced and all, but I'd lay bets that he'd never try anything. For one thing, there is the age thing. I'm not sure if that matters so much in today's world, but I bet it does to Leo. Now this is all speculation, since of course I've never had a discussion about this with Leo. But she's exactly the type of woman he admires. Not sure if he just sees her as another Margaret, though. You know, he and Margaret... alright, not going down that tangent for now, maybe another day.

The only one who might be immune is Charlie. Partly because he seems to possibly be obsessed with Zoey. Oh, alright, he's obsessed with Zoey, completely and utterly. Plus their relationship is more sibling rivalry than even mine is with her. The prank war, for example, was amazing. He got her good with that one.

Almost forgot the periphery characters on this stage called the White House. The Vice President-- sorry, former Vice President, Hoynes. You know what? I'm not even going to go there, it's pretty obvious how he felt. He loved coming up against her, seemed to relish the conflict. Then the affair, thank goodness he never tried anything with her, we would have been having a funeral instead of a resignation.

Now Will, he's still pretty new. I haven't had as much time to observe their interactions. I know he is scared of her, more so than the rest of us. He's got a bit of a crush on her, not as bad as the rest of us yet. Maybe he can escape it if he gets out quickly.

I'm not even going to think about the various underlings scurrying around. Ed and Larry, like all of them, are in awe of her. But none of them would object to her attention in the least. Luckily, they're realistic enough to realize they stand no chance.

Not that any of us stand a chance. I've known for quite awhile how this little play is going to end. Doesn't take a rocket scientist to see where her passion lies. And oddly, it's not with any of us that she sees every day. It's that bumbling reporter. Alright, alright, bumbling is a bit mean. I just don't understand it, though. I mean, have you seen her? She's gorgeous, and he's average. He's just like us, what does he have that the rest of us don't? Must be something only she can see, I don't understand it.

You know, we all joke with her about dating and such, but she responds differently to him for some reason. She could date almost anyone in the White House without a problem with outside forces. But the one guy she can't have seems to be the one she wants. Human nature rears it's ugly head again, I suppose.

I'm a bit guilty of being a romantic, but don't let it get out. I gave Danny that tiny shove with the goldfish thing. Now, I never thought he'd take it as a real goldfish... alright, maybe I did. You have to admit it was pretty funny! But it worked out well for him, so that's all that really matters. I heard he got a kiss for the effort (there's not much in the West Wing that stays a secret, just so you all know). I bet he was okay with how it all played out. At least, he had no complaints for me.

Now, unless Toby already knows, I bet none of us are going to find out if she really is great in bed. Except her little reporter, who as far as we can tell hasn't found out yet. Geez, when she made that statement, I thought we'd all have to pick our jaws off the floor. Toby, of course, knew what to say... and what not to say.

I just wonder what Danny thought of that, since he's the one who's going to find out for sure. He's a pretty good reporter, I'll admit. I know he found out about her little outburst. I bet his reaction was the same as the rest of us, speculation and... yeah, I'll admit it, a stray thought or five. You can't make a statement like that to guys and expect them not to think about it.

We all know how it's going to end, the handwriting is on the wall, and all kinds of other clichés.

Which is too bad, since there's a bit of each of us that would love to find out if she's telling the truth. Great in bed. Damn, I bet she is.

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